Sunday, December 7, 2008

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

Answer: Family Guy.

So why is America's most crude family grinding my gears? Well, pretty much the same reason why Gilmore Girls blows: it's the same damn thing over and over. But unlike the Gilmore Girls I am not entertained by a delightful scene of mother-daughter angst. Instead, I am repeatedly thrown jokes about actors and actresses I have never heard of because, although Seth McFarlane knows and loves his late-70s/early-80s television shows - his target audience was not alive to see said shows. Therefore I notice myself laughing at some joke about some character I have never heard of... but then I stop myself short because I have no fucking idea who the joke is about - am I supposed to know who Agnes Moorehead is?  I think not. Here are other reasons why I flip the channel while watching this show:

1. Peter - he is by far the funniest character in the show. So why in the world is he not the center of every single Family Guy episode!? Yes, Brian is funny. And yes, Stewie was funny. The rest of the family is basically hit or miss. Peter is mostly hilarious. Show me more of him.

2. Stewie - Why did he go from taking over the world to be flamingly homosexual? Why? Yes, I will admit that the first few episodes of season one, Stewie was a little too conniving and cold-hearted, but he somehow left his secret passion (no, that's a lie - every once in a while Stewie will feel like he needs to take over the world; probably whenever they need storyline). I have nothing against flaming homosexuals, but it is annoying! Always shaving here, tanning there, strutting elsewhere. Why doesn't he just marry the damned dog?

3. Brian - speaking of the dog, he is a pretty funny character. Yes, his liberal antics add some antiwar-antiBush spice to the stupidity (and I can enjoy some Republican bashing like the next guy), but with already a homosexual baby, Brian's liberalisms make me feel like only quasi belongs in the show.

3 & 1/2 - Brian and Stewie -> Please, please, please! Stop making us watch Stewie and Brian go on adventures! Each of these shows are the low points of each respective season.

4. No to Star Wars! Thankfully Mr. McFarlane did not create Scooby-Doo... (Princess Shaggy, anyone?)

5. The rest of the family - Louis, Chris, and the forgotten Meg (what is the point of her anymore?). Yeah, they are all borderline pointless, have annoying voices, or are way too stupid.

And, lastly, the thing that mostly grinds my gears: The Family Guy Shock Factor Has Dissipated. Their outlandish, crude humor had me grabbing my love handles and falling on the floor, but the same old jokes over and over has desensitized me from this kind of humor.

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